Settling your divorce out of court almost always reduces the time, money, and stress involved. However, the idea of reaching an agreement with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse may feel daunting.
Going into divorce negotiations with a few strategies in mind can help you navigate this process more smoothly. Below are practical considerations for how to negotiate a divorce settlement from divorce attorneys in Parker, CO.
Avoid Burning Bridges
Negotiating a marital settlement agreement out of court, whether through mediation or private conversations, requires you and your spouse to work together to reach an agreeable solution. Entering these discussions with anger or resentment will never make for a productive conversation. You should also consider how damaging the relationship during a divorce will affect you long-term, even moreso if you share children.
The divorce negotiation process can be stressful and heated, but the way you choose to approach these discussions can significantly affect the outcome and your amicability with your spouse moving forward.
Focus on Communicating Your Interests Instead of Your Position
Many divorcees enter settlement negotiations with a specific position they feel strongly about, such as “I want the house.” If you and your spouse enter discussions with conflicting positions on the same issue, you won’t have much room to negotiate.
Instead of thinking about your position, consider your interests or the reason you hold that position. Maybe your spouse prefers to keep the family house because it is close to their work or because it is within the kids’ school district. These interests have several solutions beyond your spouse automatically keeping the house; they could theoretically move into another residence in the same school district or near their work.
Communicating your position in terms of “interests” rather than specific goals allows you to focus on protecting those interests rather than holding firm to a position that may not leave room for negotiation.
Consider Your Spouse’s Feelings and Interests
You may carry a lot of anger, resentment, and hurt feelings toward your spouse, and these heavy emotions can affect your headspace going into negotiations. It may be helpful to intentionally consider how your spouse is feeling in this process and what their interests might be. This can help you better understand why they would make requests that might feel outlandish to you, such as keeping the family home.
Perhaps they have significant emotional ties to the home. Understanding your spouse’s feelings might soften your stance, allowing you to move forward in negotiations. You may also want to consider expressing your heavy emotions to a friend, family member, spiritual leader or mental health professional. Heavy emotions often bog down the process rather than propel it.
Present All of the Facts Transparently
Property division negotiations will not be effective if you or your spouse attempt to hide assets. Another element of how to negotiate a divorce settlement rests on being honest and transparent about your marital assets. Colorado law specifically places a duty on parties to a divorce to have complete candor with each other and the Courts.
You and your spouse will need to fill out a financial disclosure that lists all of your accounts, assets, debt, and property. If you hide any assets now, they will likely come to light later, delaying the process and complicating settlement discussions. Undisclosed assets could even put you at risk for re-opening your case years down the line.
Consider Divorce Mediation
If you and your spouse are at an impasse with negotiations, you have a few options to consider before moving to court. Mediation is a divorce negotiation strategy that introduces a neutral third party into your discussions. A trained mediator helps facilitate the conversation, gives both parties space to share their interests, and meets with both spouses privately to learn more about their positions.
The divorce mediation process can be helpful for navigating complex settlements, spousal support agreements, and child custody arrangements. In most cases, mediation is a mandatory part of the divorce process.
Have a Divorce Attorney Represent You
Entering divorce settlement negotiations without an attorney present could put you at a disadvantage, especially if your spouse has legal counsel. Your attorney will represent your interests and help you to fully understand the terms of settlement agreements before you sign them.
Palmer Family Law represents divorcees in the greater Parker, CO, area. We can advise you on how to negotiate a divorce settlement and represent you throughout the divorce process.
Call 720-399-7434 to schedule a free, 30-minute consultation.